Story-Telling Unit: Script Final Draft

SCRIPT FINAL DRAFT

(Wednesday 30th November)

Dialect in Attack the Block (2011)

For the final draft of my script, I have had to massively cut down my words, resulting in losing 2 pages off my total. I also had to lose quite a lot of dialogue to make room for my new ending and an added scene, but this wasn’t too difficult, because when it came down it I could easily see that with my new storyline a lot of old dialogue was no longer necessary.

I have also included a small new scene with an innocent bystander, explaining the unexpected arrival of the police and paramedics to the scene. Also, I have worked on formatting my capitalising important of impactful words in my directions.

Finally, I did some research into accent and dialogue in screenplays, including the final script for Attack the Block (2011). Although this dialect is very different from the one I have tried to portray for Adam, this still helped me examine how they are written for film and TV, assisting me with my work.

Story-Telling Unit: Final Cut

FINAL CUT

Wednesday 30th November

My final cut of A Dead End, for the project of The Meeting is finally complete.

From the Second cut, I have added the finishing touches of titles and credits, as well as completing my colour correction and including more sound effects - such as the phone dialing tones, second brick hit and final police sirens.

Narrative-wise, after talking to Mike he suggested that I should really have more of a focus on the body from the beginning. Therefore I have included some more shots of the dead man, such as the close-up seen at the beginning to really resonate with the audience the dark and serious nature of my story. 

Concerning the dialogue scenes between Adam and Eve, I have also sped up the pace of editing slightly, using tools such as the ripple edit, rollover and slip and slide tools to layer audio and visual - creating a much more natural, free-flowing effect. 

My Final Edit Track

Audio issues also had to be solved, as some of my dialogue / sfx were too quiet in comparison to the rest of the scene. This was done through Adobe Audition software, allowing these issues to be solved fairly swiftly and easily.

Story-Telling Unit: Second Cut

SECOND CUT

(Tuesday 29th November)

After completing my first cut, I finally had a chance to film on Wednesday 8^th – managing to combine the two shoots to finish my narrative. I have also had the opportunity for Mike Rymer to look at my work, giving me more ways to improve.

Logo improvement

Firstly, I have made a minor change in typography to my logo, changing it to Bebas to look more professional / match the font of my logo.

To add realism to my film, I have included the sound effect of the brick hitting Adam’s head, as well as an atmospheric track of city sounds underneath the whole thing, setting the scene - which I could not get from the mono-directional Rode mic used for dialogue. I have also purposefully left a silence on my long opening shot for cinematic effect, choosing not to include my music.

I have also had to change some of my original dialogue and narrative structure to my opening two minutes. Due to coverage issues, I did not get the shots I needed on location to make my story clear. Like Mike suggested, I could have gone back on location with my actors and shot some pick-ups, but this is inconvenient for both me and my actors/crew. Therefore, I have gone slightly astray from my script, cutting out some dialogue and actions to make the story make sense, and cut down the length of the film.

Finally, I have worked on colour correction, as part of my feedback was due to a lack of light people were losing my story – missing important details such as Adam in the foreground:

Before colour correction

After colour correction - only a slight difference to make it
unnoticeable, but very effective

Or a close-up of his hands bound: 

Before

After - now the audience will be able to see clearly
what is in the frame

This had definitely improved my film, making my narrative clearer. 

Contextual Research - Inside No.9

Inside No.9

Contextual Research - TV Drama

Inside No.9 is a British dark comedy-drama, written and directed by Steve Pemberton and Recce Shearsmith. The show follows a procedural format, each episode linked by only one thing - the main location being a No.9 (i.e a No.9 house, or room). The episodes stretch across genres, but retain a similar style of dark humour, usually with a significant twist at the end of the story. Each individual episode is a brilliant story on its own, combining a blend of comedy with deep, dark horror to create an individual style of writing. In order to contextualise the series, I will be looking at 2 episodes in particular, Sardines and A Quiet Night In.

Sardines

Sardines, taking its names after the game, takes place in an extremely enclosed space. This is perhaps challenging in terms of writing, as hardly any action takes place - leaving the whole story to completely rely on its characters and the interactions between them. 

Sardines' twist ending

The story is also effective as we are introduced to characters one by one, gradually becoming more and more crowded within the small cupboard; and accelerating the narrative's pace. As the increased number of characters begin to clash, they are distracted from more important events - not noticing that one of the missing members of their part is not who they though he was. This therefore acts as a crescendo to a dramatic twist ending.

One of the things I admire in Shearsmith and Pemberton's work (especially in this series) is the ability to create such in depth characters and relationships between them that the audience is gripped to a story with minimal action. Gripped so much in fact, that the final scene has a very powerful shock factor - after watching it myself, I was pretty taken aback.

Character work within my own script

Within my own work, my story is somewhat similar as it focuses on the themes of death and entrapment, with little action and more of an emphasis on conflict between characters. I have looked at this series pretty closely for character work in general, as it harbours such a wide range and variety of personalities from different backgrounds, periods and situations. I aimed to make the characters in my script, Adam and Eve, seem somewhat realistic in an improbable scenario.

A Quiet Night In

In contrast to Sardines, A Quiet Night In is essentially completely silent (apart from a few small lines of dialogue), and therefore relies quite heavily on action and screen directions. For example:

However, this lack of dialogue actually proves to be extremely effective in practice, as the camera is used as an effective tool to assist the action in telling the story:

Constant cutaways to facial expression - before the audience even knows
Eddie is allergic, the audience knows something is wrong.

Low angle of large dog - emphasises its size and significance as a threat to the robbery.

The written script for the dog scene

The importance of camera is vital in any story, but in this episode it works particularly well as from the beginning the audience automatically roots for the burglars not to get caught - constantly suspending them. The fact that there is no verbal explanation to what is happening forces the audience to glue themselves to their screens, making for attentive watching.

In the format of screenwriting, the stage directions may be extensive, but the wording is straightforward and minimal. This adheres to advice given in my tutorials with both Steve and Simon, who when reading through my script both told me to cut down my wording, focusing on:

1. Only writing about what can be seen in the frame (i.e. no "assumes" / what the character is thinking)
2. No waffley words, keep it straightforward

This advice has therefore helped me in my final script edit, helping me to both simplify my directions and make space for more progressive content such as character development through dialogue.

Final Thoughts

When deciding what episodes in particular to look at as part of contextualising this series, I chose these two episodes, Sardines and A Quiet Night In in particular as they are both polar opposites of one another. Sardines contains multiple characters in a small space, relying on character and dialogue to progress its story. A Quiet Night In, on the other hand, has a minimal cast in a big house, with minimal dialogue - relying on physical action to progress its narrative. By choosing these, I could not only look at different aspects of film-making, but also look at camera and dialogue / character individually. Furthermore, I feel these 2 episodes properly represent the series as a whole - depicting its trademark dark comedic aspect, unique format and enriched character work.

Contextual Research - Screenwriting

BASICS FILM-MAKING: SCREENWRITING

Contextual Reasearch - Screenwriting

To attempt to help me with the writing process, I borrowed the book Basics Film-making, Screenwriting to look at. Luckily for me, it is extremely detailed, covering everything from the concept to editing the final draft. When coming to work on my own script, I found the sections on dialogue particularly useful, as it comments on how to make conversation realistic and how to make words count – with written examples, with scripts from films such as American Beauty (1999) and Groundhog Day (1993).

Looking at refining dialogue

Throughout the book, the authors focus on a script for A Nice Cup Of Tea. They take it through the entire process (first draft, second draft and final refining), including all three complete drafts at the end so it is easy to see how the screenplay has progressed. This gave me a better idea of how to cut down my script for my final draft, reminding me not to rely on wordy explanations - inspiring me to include more methods of showing, not telling.

I also looked at the final section of the book, in Script Editing. This was useful for reference to future projects, as it explains that writing is all about stamina, picking and picking and picking until it forms a decent shape. However, not all scripts are the same, and some will take more time than others:

"Any script benefits from a period of hibernation. At some stage, writing comes to a halt – you get stuck, run out of steam, or feel that a script is finished. Stop for a while; you can always come back to it with renewed vigour and insight later."

Basics Film-making: Screenwriting 

Robert Edgar-Hunt, John Marland, James Richards

Contextual Research - Howard Overman

HOWARD OVERMAN

Contextual Research - Writers

"I think that’s the trick in a way – making the genre stuff happen in a space where people can connect with it. I always try and write stuff that speaks to people who don’t necessarily always watch genre shows, there’s other things like life and relationships and finding yourself in there."

Howard Overman

Howard Overman is a British Film and TV writer, most widely known for his work on  New Tricks (2005), Hotel Babylon (2006), Merlin (2008-11), Misfits (2010) and Crazyheads (2016).

Overman's work is more rooted in the genre of comedy than anything else, as each of his works share a similar sense of humour, but in very different settings. Howard himself admits that in the writing process he usually dismisses genre, instead focusing on themes like relationships and realistic issues that an audience could potentially identify with. 

Another common theme in Overman's original works (such as Misfits, Atlantis and Crazyhead) is to take distinctly American conventions, such as Superheroes and Zombie/Demon Possession and give them a distinctly English twist using humour:

Misfits (2010)

Even in the trailer, Nathan distinctly references the show's American influence,

stating "Superheroes.. that kind of thing only happens in America."

Crazyhead (2016)

Similarly, Crazyhead is also a twist on American slayer-film convention,

being compared to shows such as Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Howard admits that his inspiration when transforming American genre is Edgar Wright's Shaun of the Dead (2004), which "made a zombie apocalypse feel grounded and real, and based in a reality you recognize."

Though admittedly not all of Howard Overman's story-lines are the most original, I do admire his grounded and relateable character work, identifying with audiences everywhere and still retaining a strong sense of British humour. His ability to relate with people through characters in impossible situations shows the sheer power of his dialogue and characters, making him a renowned writer in the industry and allowing him to win several awards - including a BAFTA for Best Drama Series (Misfits).

"E4’s Misfits was lowkey one of the cleverest British TV shows in recent memory. Following a group of London teenagers doing community service who gained superpowers, it was kind of like X-Men for British working class kids. It dealt with issues about race, class and gender, but never let that over shadow the characters and the humour."

http://uk.complex.com/pop-culture/2016/10/howard-overman-crazyhead-misfits-interview/

Contextual Research - Dennis Kelly

DENNIS KELLY
Contextual Research - Writers

  "Yeah, I suppose I am known now for dark humour. People are shocked when they meet me, I think they expect me to kill a cat in front of them or something."

Dennis Kelly

Dennis Kelly is a theatre, film and TV writer, possibly best known for his work on BBC Three's Pulling (2006) and Channel 4's Utopia (2013). 

Kelly was first introduced to writing after joining a youth group as a teenager, leading him to graduate with a degree in Drama and Theatre arts and write his first play at the age of 30. After 3 years of writing for theatre, Kelly's sitcom, Pulling, aired in 2006. Despite his constant presence in theatre and the west end, Kelly also continued screenwriting - writing an episode of Spooks in 2008, Utopia in 2013 and an original film, Black Sea, in 2014.

After watching Utopia, I immediately was drawn to not only its distinct visual style, but also its  vibrant characters and complex story-line. I have found through looking into his other works that in Kelly's writing there is a distinct individuality between his characters, yet a sense of flow which makes even the most abnormal situations appear natural. This darkly humored style is also carried across genres, as Kellys' work reaches from drama to sitcom. 

For example:

Pulling (2006)

Utopia (2013)

During the actual writing process, Kelly explains that he needs to hear a character's "voice" in his head, and if that voice then interests him he can look more into who they are. For example, if you by chance overheard a conversation, and you were interested in that person's voice, or what they had to say you'd be intrigued by them - keeping the audience hooked to find out more. By writing his characters in this way, Kelly places himself as the audience in order to develop his characters from a 2D image. 

He also explains that writing can be difficult, as stories and characters do not always come out on paper fully formed. In order to achieve this, everything has to be redrafted several times - requiring passion, patience and resilience.

Personally, Dennis Kelly is one of my favourite writers as I am a big fan of dark humor, but I also feel that without a strong element of character even the best story ever written could sink. As people, we are intrigued by others and I feel that Dennis Kelly exploits this to his advantage in every piece he writes. As I write my own material both for this unit and others in the future, this is something I strive to achieve.

Story-Telling Unit: First Cut & Logo

FIRST CUT & LOGO

(Tuesday 22nd October)

North To South Logo

My first edit was a rough cut together of my first scene, of what I managed to get filmed on Monday. The plan was to have an entire rough cut by now, but the weather on my first shoot day proved formidable - lesson learned, always check that a hurricane won't hit during a shoot. However, my edit is on track and coming together well, despite the still shaky opening shot. I had thought I might re-film this on Wednesday, but I actually think I might keep it in because 1) it adds a sense of aesthetic grit, and 2) quite honestly I don't have enough time to think about a way to get it perfect. There is clearly a long way to go, including adding colour correction (the footage is pretty dark), but I have a strong starting point.

Another thing I have worked on is the development of my group's logo, a production company we have named North To South Productions. Though not strictly necessary, it adds a nice touch to all of our films.