Story-Telling Unit: Script Tutorial

Initial notes from tutorial

Script Tutorial
(Monday 7th October)

In my tutorial with Steve, we discussed several changes to my script and story. The main consensus with my narrative is that there are too many coincidences, including:

1. He's not really dead, but no one notices
2. Eve has no signal
3. Homeless man talks too well
4. Young/fit, but cant break free from a belt
5. Woman who can tie him up forcefully

Steve's report

To solve these, we discussed alternate endings, and how to help the story progress.  Rather than Eve using her own physical strength to stop Adam, she could knock him unconscious with a blunt object. Instead of simply being detained using one belt, Adam could break free of his bonds several times, only each time to be attacked again by Eve and restrained with even more bonds - progressing the characters / story, and placing my dialogue in a different, more comedic context.

 I've also decided to keep my dead man actually dead, giving the story a constant and avoiding a floppy ending. I'm also thinking that eventually the police will arrive to help Adam and Eve, and Eve clearly pointing the finger at Adam. However, the paramedics point out the livor mortis on the body, stating that he has been dead 12-24 hours. Instead of Adam's arrest, Eve is arrested for assault / grievous bodily harm. My dialogue is also too wordy, and needs to be cut down.