Story-Telling Unit: Script Review 1

SCRIPT REVIEW 1
(Tuesday 8th November)

Following both Steve and Simon's feedback in my script tutorials, I have had to make some distinct changes to my story. In this review, I have focused on the opening of my script (first 5 pages), as this is what I will be filming shortly on my location shoot.

From my first initial draft, I have altered Eve’s method of detaining Adam, as knocking him out with a brick as opposed to tackling him would be potentially more realistic for her character. Also, this cuts out unnecessary dialogue and perhaps adds some shock/slapstick comedic effect.

This comedic effect comes more into play as the story goes on, and Adam becomes gradually more and more tied up. As he escapes, Eve continues to knock him out – both adding more scenes to my screenplay and developing my characters effectively.

Finally, I have corrected certain formatting errors (including the ill-placing of parenthesis), and cut down some of my descriptions and words.

Now that the first half of my script has been altered for my shoot, I need to work on modifying the ending to match my new storyline. I’d also like to give Adam more of a character through his dialogue, possibly giving him some kind of accent, and cut down my words even more to avoid waffle and keep my script simple.